So, long time no blog.

Right now, it is midnight and I am hearing my daughter SCREAM in her room. She has reverted to screamer Aislinn. I'm just outside listening to her scream. She is mad that A. She has to go to bed, and B. I wouldn't let her take her Nintendo to bed with her and when she said she needed her "best friend" (nintendo) I told her if she was going to refer to it as her best friend, maybe she needed a break from it , and C. I shut my bedroom door so Tony didn't have to listen to it.

Well, so much for Tony ignoring the situation. He is in there screaming at her. ::sigh:: When is he going to learn that that is the WRONG way to handle her tantrums. Although I must admit, she is quiet now.

Oh well, life has been going on as usual. I had my MIL here for a few days along with my niece and nephew. My niece and nephew were fine, it was my MIL I couldn't wait to get rid of. She must think this is her freaking summer home or something, because she doesn't do jack diddly crap when she is here. I mean hello, the woman doesn't have a home, and has been living with other people for almost two years now. I brought her HERE so that my SIL and her teenaged girls could get a break, but the woman sat on her ass for two days straight. TWO DAYS STRAIGHT. She didn't volunteer to fix the kids food, or do a dish, or anything. Well, she did help me straighten up the kitchen, getting the dishes off the table for me. The final straw was today, while Im trying to bust my ass making homemade waffles, and Jonny walks in with a rancid poop. I am missing a beater for my hand mixer (thanks kids!) and thought I could whip eggs with my blender. It wasn't wokring of course, and when Jonny walks in and walks up to her, she says "Jonny, go away. Uh uh go away" I assume from the stank rant smell coming from his ass. So, I stopped wht I was doing, and changed his diaper. My plan before this little interlude happened was go to to the store, get more eggs, and borrow my moms hand mixer to do the waffles right. I thought "Fuck this" went into the kitchen, dumped everything out, announced "Waffles aren't going to work" and went out into the back yard with my cell phone to call my SIL to tell her that her DH needed to pick his MIL up ASAP after work. I was only going to make the fucking waffles because we talked about how good they are and she said she would love to have some. Fuck her.

At least this time she said thank you... I think.

I feel sorry for her, I do, but really what comes around goes around. She cheated on Tony's dad, and now it's biting HER in the ass. It's funny though how she remembers things. She told me that she never screwed around on Dad until after the separation, which is bullshit. I remember going on DATES with she and Rick with Tony. I stared her dead in her eyes when she told me that last night. She seems to forget that I have known this family for almost twenty years.

Anyway, she's nuts, what can I say? We all went to this lake thing on Sunday for Fathers Day and she spent the whole day buttering up Dad's wife Grace. Everyone knows it's because she wants to get close to dad again. I talked to Grace today, and she said at one point Dad and MIL went down to the water with the kids. I guess she tagged along with him. She comes back shortly after upset. Grace asked Bill (Dad) later what happened, why she came back so fast, and Dad said she was down there trying to splash him and play around, and he ignored her, and played with the grandkids. She told me she plans on changing her name back to her previous married name... she says to match with HER kids, but I think it has more to do with it than that.

Honestly, my intention in this entry was NOT to bitch about this woman. Really, I swear. But, fuck she gets under my skin like it's no ones business. She is living off of SIL who can barely afford to pay for the family she has now, she won't look for a job, saying she's never had to fill out an application before, and they scare her. That all the jobs she has previous never required aps. Are you fucking kidding me? She'll be living with Denise FOREVER I'm sure. I feel bad for Denise.

Ah it's quiet in there now. Although, now I have to deal with the wrath of Tony. He came out here blustering at me about if I could hear Aislinn out here, and I said yes. He said "What the fuck do you think our neighbors think?" That she is having a tantrum? Hell, I don't know. Who cares?

Well, off to bed.

Crusining like it's 2001 and again.

I once did something kind of wrong.

I bought a car without discussing it with Tony first. Probably one of the major rules of marriage (discuss big purchases with spouse first) and I broke it, and one of the few times I remember Tony being pissed, and worst of all embarrassed. By doing what I did, he his machismo took a hit. He was ok with me being in charge of the money for the most part, although he took some ribbing for it, but this... this was too much. This regulated him to "child status" and since we had a little 16 month old diva named Aislinn at the time, he was pretty much last in line in the old pecking order.

I could tell he was mad. I picked him up at the ship (he had been gone like a month) and there I had it. He tried to be cool about it. He tried to be happy for me. But, he hated it. It stood for everything he disliked overall about our marriage. On top of all the not asking him thing, I bought a KIA of all things. A Goddamned Kia.

A few weeks later I asked him about it, and he said "Yeah a bunch of guys got me together and just totally bitched at me about how I could let you buy a piece of junk like that, they're the worst cars ever, why is it so small (I got the Rio, the smallest model available)" I felt bad, but I didn't care. This car was in MY name, and this was a real proud accomplishment for me. I didn't need my dads help, I bought it myself. Even though I was married and had a child, THIS, THIS made me feel like an adult. Looking back though I can see it was also a total passive aggresive move on my part, because I think I was just pissed at Tony for being gone, and I totally got ass raped on the interest rate, so maybe dads helped would have been nice. But, WHATEVER man, I did it! Woohoo!

I drove that thing like I was the Mother Fucking Princess (to quote Avril) The reasons I bought the car was ONE... we were driving all three of us in an S-10 and TWO.. I hated paying for gas. Always have, and at 32 miles a gallon, this thing was the SHIT. Even though it was a bit of a rough ride, aaaand the interior was crap, it was zippy. I loved that zippy feeling. Where it felt like I was going 8o but I was going like 60, which was perfect for me, as I love to drive fast, but I hate driving fast. It was cramped too, but I loved that I could pretty much reach anywhere in the car, and still be able to drive. Aislinn dropped her sippy and was being a spaz? No problem. Got it! Haven't seen my daughter all day, and all I wanted to do was touch her? My hand rested on her leg, and I talked to her in the little mirror I put up, and we would laugh and sing, and I'd tickle her while driving. Try that in an SUV.

That car was driven from Norfolk to St. Louis several times and back. That car was well loved and cared for under my tutelage. I had an impressive stereo put in, and I loved, loved, loved driving around, with the windows down, zipping in and out of traffic, music blaring, Aislinn laughing, and me just grinning. Grinning away at life and how great it was.

Eventually we moved here, and it became obvious that Aislinn AND Jonny was too much for the car to handle. It just wasn't big enough. We sold Tony's rattle trap truck and bought an old van from my uncle. I got that vehicle, and Tony took over the Kia. He, over time had to come to love the car as much as I did, loving when I was off with no plans, so he too could zip aroudn town in the car. Even now I'll say "And you were mad that I got this car" and he'll say "I know, I was stupid, and you are so superior, I bow down to your greatness, and kiss your Goddess feet and sing the praises of your glory" Or um.. something like that. It was a great blessing when the gas prices sky rocketed.

Today, I drove my car again, and it was nice. I grinned, and I laughed, and I tickled Jonny while driving. Bringing back all those lovely memories that I had from the past. When Aislinn got in the car, I grinned, and tickled and held her knee. Windows down, music blaring, and everything was right with the world.

Mama needs some sugah.... NOW!!

Yesterday, Tony and I did something WILD and CRAZY. If you know me and Tony, ummmm, we're the antedote for WILD and CRAZY. Really. If I were to sit and rack my brain for anything WILD and CRAZY I've ever done, I'd honestly get so depressed at my squareness, I'd have to go read just to calm down. Or play Poke FUCKING mon.

We got a sitter to sit with our kids, and he went to play in a golf tournament, and I went to hang out with a friend. We met up later, and our hormones kind of took over. Kinda like absence makes the heart grow fonder, but in my case... absences makes the 'giner grow... well... I think you get where I am going here.

We were at our friends house for oh ten minutes before we were in the backyard and making out. Yeah like some horny teenagers. You know what? Scratch that. Teenagers don't own the market on horniness. We were horny like some mutha truckin' 30 year olds. Take that teenagers. *angy old woman shaky fist*

The unfortunate thing is, our MIL was the one watching the kids and the last time we did the hibbidy dibbidy while she was here... she brought it up the next day. Now, don't get me wrong, she's heard us do it several times when we WERE horny teenagers, but you know, when you're a teenager having a threesome with two dudes and then telling people about it sounds like a good idea too. (Hey! I have done a wild and crazy thing! Chaching!) Now that I'm borderline crotchety, I have like humility and shit.

As we're making out, and bemoaning our sexless lives with Tony's work and my all round bitchiness, I said "Hey, let's get a hotel room". Tony's eyes lit up like Christmas tree and we were off. We hurriedly said goodby to our friends, giggling telling them what we were doing. We were met with some scorn, and some "Aww come on guys" but, we were determined to get a hotel room, tear the clothes off of each other, and just go to town, pass out and then sleep in the next day. Carpe diem and all that shit. We bum a fan from our friends, leave a car there, and we head off.

I had been dealing with a headache for a while. Nothing bad, but just a bit annoying, it felt kind of migraineyish so I told Tony I'd take a pill and by the time we found a room, I'd be fine. He said he was hungry, and we were on our way to find food, and a room to do our bidness.

As we're driving down Manchester, my headache within minutes, gets worse, yet I'm still undeterred. I do the diabetes math (which is nothing more than taking the time you ate last, and subtracting the time it is NOW to come up with the number of hours (Or in some case minutes) you ate last. Very scientific I know) and realize I haven't eaten in SEVEN hours, which is a NO NO for a diabetic. Plus my friend and I went for an hour walk around her neighborhood, which is even worse in a case like this.

Of course, it's ten oclock and everything in Whitey-ville is closed. That's one thing I've noticed about predominently "white" neighborhoods, lack of late night food options. We're driving, and driving, and at this point, we're looking for a Denny's or an Ihop. We found an Ihop that closed at TEN. TEN FUCKING PM and the MF'ing IHOP was closed. Here in nice mix of racial diversty-town, IHOP is like 24 hours. I guess only the blacks and the mexicans get a hankering for a Rooty Tuity fresh and fruity at 2 am? I don't know. But, I digress.

Finally, my stomach is churning. My head is pounding, and my face is covered in a freezing cold clammy sweat. Tony was trying to do some roadside feel ups, and I snapped "STOP!" which cooled him down right away. Out of desperation (and fear I was going to faint and crash, as I was driving and I had some scary black spots in my perephial vision) we pulled into Taco Bell, where I orderd two MexiMelts and a Mountain Dew, hoping the non diet soda would get sugar into my system quick. We pull into a parking lot, and I try to choke down my Meximelt. Not happening, brutha. My stomach was a MESS by this point. The funny thing was, I wasn't evenHUNGRY that whole 7 hours, so this was sudden and quite a surprise. Remember, just a few minutes before, I was copping crotch in our friends back yard.

I take my pill and I drive on, after trying to eat and getting half a Meximelt down my throat. I'm still sweating, although my head isn't as bad, and I'm really, really regretting that Meximelt and Dew combo I got churning in the works. The pill seems to have agravated the situation even more, and things... well things are a gurgling. I get a half mile down the road and I get that tingle in my jaw. I pull over quick on a side rode, and I throw open my door, and I puke. A little, but enough to aleviate some of the happenings in my body. I'm sitting there, just feeling the cool breeze on my face, close the door to the van, and just chill. Then, WHAM, before I could get the door all the way open I barf again. It gets on my arm, the door, the WINDOW. Everywhere. Tony is sympathy gagging. It was a mess.

He gets in teh driver side, and cleans up. I sit in the passenger side. He says "I think we should go home" and as he lurches the van around, I know I can not handle thirty minutes of driving. I tell him "Please, lets just get a hotel room, so I can lay down, I can't be in this car anymore than I have to"

After 15 excruciating minutes, we find a room, and I immediatly strip down and puke some more... and more.... and more. Tony, he is asleep while I puke my lungs up. I crawl into a nice big bed, and clean cool sheets, and there I am, sweating, pukey, with no clean clothes, no toothbrush or toothpaste, smelling of Taco Bell, barf and pee (since I pee when I barf).

Our hot night of sex turned into a puke fest for one. Maybe I should leave the horniness and the spontanaity to the younger sect.

What makes a person a big kid?

I'm borderline geek. Ok, Ummm maybe I'm all geek, and just trying to tell myself otherwise. I say this because my interests run parallel to those of the geek society. Although I don't fully get into stuff like Anime, and D&D (Dungeons and Dragons) I am on the fringe of that society.

Yesterday, I went to Wal Mart with my mom. As she perused their clothing in amazement (she never goes there, and is ALWAYS shocked at their LOW LOW prices) I was all antsy, wanting to look at the toys and the video games. I probably should mention I had no children with me at the time.

We decided to go check out the movie selection, looking for a gift for an upcoming birthday. I purposely took her the long way, claiming I didn't know where the electronice section was. I looked at all the new Transformer toys they had in the aisles, and ooh'ed and ahh'ed over stuff while my mom rolled her eyes in mock aggravation. We got to the movie section, and I looked at video games while she looked for the movies.

Later we hit Burger King, and I got my kids some food there. I excitedly dug in the bag, and pulled out the toy, and exclaimed "Ooooh they got the Silver Surfer!! Cool!" My mom said "You're like a big kid you know that?"

She's right.

I am.

But, why?

I'm the 30 year old woman that went out and bought a new Nintendo DS and POKEMON game the other day. POKE fucking MON. Yeah, I know. But, not only did I buy a POKE fucking MON game, I battled my daughter and LOST but still undeterred I convinced a friend to spend $35 on a POKE fucking MON game as well, so we could play together.

I watch cartoons, I love Harry Potter. I don't know I think I have a problem.

If I start making playdates for MYSELF, someone please lock me up.

Thanks.

Started off a nice entry ended in a man rant full of F bombs.

Yesterday was a better day. We went for the damn walk Aislinn had been bugging me about. She rode her bike, and we went to my moms. While there, my sister took her for ice cream with her boyfriend. Then we went to my sisters softball game, where my dad was umping at the field next to hers. Even Tony went with us. The whole family was there... well except my sisters husband, but he was working, so he's excused. LOL

I've been feeling not so hot today. Last night, is when it really kind of hit. My face felt stuffy, and I was coughing here in and there, and feeling worn out and tired. I laid on the couch to read, and Jonny came and laid down with me, and he and I fell asleep on the couch, butt to butt. I know I had to have farted on him a few times. LOL I left my kitchen a MESS which was not fun to wake up to this morning. Oh and do you think Tony, being the husband and father of our family helped me out with that? OF COURSE NOT. Fucker.

Ok... man rant. I love how a man comes home from work, and is just "done" He eats, he lays around watching tv, and that's it. But, me I'm fucking doing dishes or laundry or dealing with kids until fucking midnight or later. Do you think he grabs the broom and helps me sweep while I'm washing the dishes to the meal I cooked? Oh! And I love how they get a fucking ATTITUDE when you DO ask them to help, or they leave you hanging until they feel a sufficient amount of time has passes to let yo know they won't be bossed around. Take last weekend for example. I spent the weekend cleaning, and taking care of the kids, cooking all the meals etc. While he laid in bed watching movies all day, I finger painted with the kids, watched Aislinn's "water show" blah blah blah. I asked him on Saturday evening if he would PLEASE run and get me a paper, so I could go grocery shopping. A FUCKING HOUR passes and he's still not gotten it. Finally I get pissy, he gets pissy becuase I was pissy, saying "Well I didn't know you wanted it now?" REALLY? Well, helllllooooo ASSHOLE it;s like fucking 8:3o at night, and I told you I wanted to grocery shop TONIGHT. By the time he got the fucking paper, and I clipped what I needed it was almost 10 oclock. So he stayed home and played on the computer (which he fucking hogged all weekend) and I got to go GROCERY SHOPPING. How the FUCK?!? is that FAIR?!?!

But, I didn't say anything. What's the damn point right? He doesn't care. If he did, he'd do something about it. I'm going to have to say something soon though, as I have been holding a grudge which is never healthy. Just the site of himmakes me want to vomit at this point.

Last night he was all "Oh you're are SO going to GET YOU SOME tonight" I was really offended by this. I said "Well, what makes you think I want anything you're giving?" "He said "Oh you do" then I think he finally noticed my attitude and said meekly "Um or not, whatever you want"

Damn straight asshole.

Time for school yet?

I remember the first time I watched The Joy Luck Club. There is a scene where a mother and her teenaged daughter are sitting around a fire. The mother is lovingly feeding her daughter all the good nutricious things out of her own bowl. She cleans her daughter careful, getting her all dolled up. She then takes her daughter and gives her away, never to see her again, as she starts a new life off as a young bride. Off to make a million boy sons.

I always thought, how sad. To have to raise a child, a girl probably close to your heart, and then have to hand her over to strangers and pray that they love her as much as you've loved her. I never understood how a mother coudl give away her daughter just like that. That was before, you know I had a daughter of my own. What they DONT show is the snotty daughter slamming doors, and that mother dancing a jig all the way home that she no longer has to deal with all that attitude.

Ok, yeah that was mean. But, today is DAY TWO of summer vacation, and as much as I love Aislinn, it';s been too much. We have had tears everyday so far. I've made it a point to get the kids out of the house each day for a few hours at least. Yet, this is never enough for the darling sweet daughter. It's not enough that I have spent a total of $70 on a new pool and chemicals for this pool. It;s not enough that I spent two hours, cleaning OUT the pool, using one of my sexy thigh highs wrapped around a play tennis racket, in the hot sun. Oh no. I'm evil. I didn't TAKE THEM FOR A WALK. Even though I PROMISED, and heaven forbid you know I was just exhausted after all the fun I had.

She has eaten all my graham crackers and when I got pissy about it handed me two small rectangles and said "Here are the last two" and when I said "Gee thanks" she responded "Well, it's better than none at all"

In the good ole days, when people just didn't know any better, you would have just walloped your kid one for saying something like that to you. Now, you just kind of sputter, and turn purple in teh face, and talk through unmoving lips and in a horrible hissing voice.

The hair struggle.

Yesterday, I did my shaving ritual. Lord how I hate it.

The hair on my legs is so fine, that I can go a month without shaving without much of a difference. My armpit hair, and my "ahem" hair is a different story.

For me, it's less painful to shave when the hair has grown in. So, I wait until I have a nice "crop" going, then I go to town. This takes me probably a half an hour, and it sucks. The whole time I'm bent over in the shower, trying to not slice off vital parts of my female anatomy, and trying to keep the water out of my eyes, I curse society for making me do this.

It's always the same thing. I always get MAD. I get mad at Tony for caring about it, I get mad at all the men I've heard say "I won't go down on a woman if she isn't shaved" I get mad at Tony and his best friend Nathan for thinking the french exchange student was "gross" for having pit hair when they were 13. I get mad at Nathans mom for gently informing aforementioned exchange student that girls in America shave their pits. I get mad at my aunts for telling my mom she should shave when she didn't need to (my mom never shaved until she moved to America) I get mad at every celeb pic I see of a woman sporting pit hair, and there was some rude comment about it. I get even MORE MAD that as a woman, I fall for it, and I continue to shave, because no matter how mad I get... I DO CARE.

The circle of life bitches.

Of course, after I shave my mommy bits.... a few hours later sets in the itching. I went to bingo with my mom and sisters, and the whole time I was thinking... I just want to go home and scratch damn it.

So I came home and did the glorious scratching and went to bed.