This deployment has been pretty cool. The phone calls have been pretty regular. That is one thing about being on a small crew I guess, everyone gets to know everyone and it's more relaxed, so Tony can use the SAT phone on a regular basis. He called this morning, but we were still in bed, and missed the call. He called again this afternoon, and we were gone. The message he left then sounded like he was going to cry. He said on the message that he wasn't going to try again today, but he did, so we got to talk. There isn't much to talk about though. He can't give me too much information, and I don't do anything but sit here.
A few days ago he called and gave me some very interesting information. There is a small possibility that he could be coming home on sooner than expected. Much sooner, like in 15 days soon. TWO WEEKS soon. See, his orders say he is part of Crew XXX, who he is with now. Before he left he was told by the Commodore that even though he was part of Crew XXX, he would have to go to Crew YYY who are just starting their six month deployment, after Crew XXX left for home.
But, the CO and chief of crew XXX don't want him to stay, they want him to come back with THEM. So they're working on it.
He tells me all the time not to get my hopes up, but everytime I talk to him, he gives me another reason to get excited. I'm staying cautiously optimistic at this point.
About Me
- Sandi
- These are the words I type when I have nothing better to do. I'm a soon to be divorced single mom of two great kids who tries to find the funny in as much as I can to keep from crying.
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
I has a sad
Today is a sad day, a not so great day, a day where it's 2:30 and I'm still in my pajamas day, a sucky day, a migraine day, a day where I slept off and all pretty much until 1 pm day. Jonny, he is a saint. He sat in my room watching tv, and just being a good kid. Like he knew momma needed it, and he never once complained.
Last night, I decided to go to bed early. I have been staying up until 1 or 2 most nights, and I was having a hard time functioning around 7-ish pm. Where all I did was sit and wait for the clock to make its slow ticks toward bedtime, so I coudl go to sleep, only to stay awake. Last night, I was in the bed, tv off, in the dark at 10:53. I gave myself a mental pat on the back, said my prayers, and snuggled into the blankets, and closed my eyes. And laid there, staring into the dark, wide awake, when only moments before, I had been exhausted.
All of a sudden I heard a noise, then I swore I saw a shadow move in the hallway. I immediately jumped up, and checked on the kids, and slowly made my way down the steps, heart pounding, convinced I was going to see a masked burglar there to steal my craptastic stuff. I made it downstairs, and no one. I decided to sit in the dark in the living room, and play a game on my computer. After awhile I swore I heard someone jiggling our front door handle. Again, get up, turn all the lights on, open the door, see no one, lock both the screen door, and then front door. At this point, I make my way upstairs to TRY and sleep. It's now 1 am. Still can't sleep.
I wake up at 6:30 and help Aislinn get off to school. She is trying to convince me that she is ill and can't go. I seriously consider keeping her home, because that meant i could go back to sleep right away. I push through, and get her off to school. I lay back down, and Jonny lays down with me.
That's when teh dreams start. Weird dreams filled with guns, and ghosts and sex, and Tony ignoring me. Tony off with his new work friends, avoiding me at all costs, and no matter what I do or say, he won't come home with me and the kids. I mean hello we can tell what THIS dream is about can't we? But, there are other things too, disturbing things that I just can't commit to writing out of fear of making them real. The dreams were that real.
I am again, tired waiting for bed. I realize I am having an "episode" right now, but I'll get through.
Last night, I decided to go to bed early. I have been staying up until 1 or 2 most nights, and I was having a hard time functioning around 7-ish pm. Where all I did was sit and wait for the clock to make its slow ticks toward bedtime, so I coudl go to sleep, only to stay awake. Last night, I was in the bed, tv off, in the dark at 10:53. I gave myself a mental pat on the back, said my prayers, and snuggled into the blankets, and closed my eyes. And laid there, staring into the dark, wide awake, when only moments before, I had been exhausted.
All of a sudden I heard a noise, then I swore I saw a shadow move in the hallway. I immediately jumped up, and checked on the kids, and slowly made my way down the steps, heart pounding, convinced I was going to see a masked burglar there to steal my craptastic stuff. I made it downstairs, and no one. I decided to sit in the dark in the living room, and play a game on my computer. After awhile I swore I heard someone jiggling our front door handle. Again, get up, turn all the lights on, open the door, see no one, lock both the screen door, and then front door. At this point, I make my way upstairs to TRY and sleep. It's now 1 am. Still can't sleep.
I wake up at 6:30 and help Aislinn get off to school. She is trying to convince me that she is ill and can't go. I seriously consider keeping her home, because that meant i could go back to sleep right away. I push through, and get her off to school. I lay back down, and Jonny lays down with me.
That's when teh dreams start. Weird dreams filled with guns, and ghosts and sex, and Tony ignoring me. Tony off with his new work friends, avoiding me at all costs, and no matter what I do or say, he won't come home with me and the kids. I mean hello we can tell what THIS dream is about can't we? But, there are other things too, disturbing things that I just can't commit to writing out of fear of making them real. The dreams were that real.
I am again, tired waiting for bed. I realize I am having an "episode" right now, but I'll get through.
Monday, January 28, 2008
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Cuz I iz so lame!!!1
I made a LOLcat caption
moar funny pictures
U go vote 4 it? kthnxbai!
http://mine.icanhascheezburger.com/View.aspx?daswirlzw128459336188296250.jpg
moar funny pictures
U go vote 4 it? kthnxbai!
http://mine.icanhascheezburger.com/View.aspx?daswirlzw128459336188296250.jpg
You know how you read a newspaper story and it freaks you the fuck out?
I just read an article about the Navy sending sailors to supplement the war in Iraq, and they call the deployments IA's, Individual Augmentation. I knew this was happening, has been happening for awhile, Tony even talked about it doing it.
What freaks me out is that it says that 1 in 5 sailors without an IA under their belts make Chief. 1 in 3 who have an IA make chief. Why does this have me worried? Tony just took his Chiefs exam. Although he has a lot of positives going for him, that doesn't mean he'll make it.
All I'm saying is, I can see one of these in our future. Sigh. They are on average 9 months, sometimes 12 or 13. I just know Tony will do whatever it takes to make chief. It's an annoying quality of his.
I just read an article about the Navy sending sailors to supplement the war in Iraq, and they call the deployments IA's, Individual Augmentation. I knew this was happening, has been happening for awhile, Tony even talked about it doing it.
What freaks me out is that it says that 1 in 5 sailors without an IA under their belts make Chief. 1 in 3 who have an IA make chief. Why does this have me worried? Tony just took his Chiefs exam. Although he has a lot of positives going for him, that doesn't mean he'll make it.
All I'm saying is, I can see one of these in our future. Sigh. They are on average 9 months, sometimes 12 or 13. I just know Tony will do whatever it takes to make chief. It's an annoying quality of his.
Saturday, January 26, 2008
Going well so far
It hasn't been bad at all. Twice so far I've had kids in bed with me. One night, just Jonny, but last night it was both, and I didn't get much sleep. I told them one at a time from now on. Aislinn seems to think I need to have someone in bed with me every night. No thanks. I like being in bed by myself sometimes. I had like a sliver of bed, which was not enough room for me and my hose. I have to keep my cpap hose under the covers with me so that it stays warm and doesn't make condensation that then splutters on my face, and makes a horrible noise that makes me have to get up, wipe out the mask, detatch it from the hose and shake the water out of the hose. At four in the morning. Never fun.
Tony called us yesterday morning. It was nice of him, but kind of awkward since he'd only been gone like two days, and there really wasn't much to talk about. He was lonely though. Right now he is actually on the boat he is assigned to, and they allowed him to send an email to let me know. This boat is so small that they can't really access email or the internet for personal use. He says everyone seems very nice. I am happy for him.
He told me that the villa he is in has a pool. I was thinking GREEEAT he's going to be drinking it up and partying when they are not out in the boat. But, come to find out, they have booze rationing!! He has to get a card and is only allowed so much booze a month. Teehee!
Both kids are doing great. Aislinn has been a little pissy because it's been too cold to play outside. She had her first art class, and really, really liked it. What I like about it is they won't let the kids bring any of the stuff home with them, they make a little portfolio for them. That's so cute! She did paint a special picture for Tony, of the ocean with the sun on the horizon, and it's so simple, but I absolutely love it. I even asked her if we could frame it, and put it up in our dining room that has other sea pictures in it. But, she wants to send it to her dad, which I can understand.
Jonny is doing great with potty training. No accidents! He is doing so well! I can't believe he's four already.
Tony called us yesterday morning. It was nice of him, but kind of awkward since he'd only been gone like two days, and there really wasn't much to talk about. He was lonely though. Right now he is actually on the boat he is assigned to, and they allowed him to send an email to let me know. This boat is so small that they can't really access email or the internet for personal use. He says everyone seems very nice. I am happy for him.
He told me that the villa he is in has a pool. I was thinking GREEEAT he's going to be drinking it up and partying when they are not out in the boat. But, come to find out, they have booze rationing!! He has to get a card and is only allowed so much booze a month. Teehee!
Both kids are doing great. Aislinn has been a little pissy because it's been too cold to play outside. She had her first art class, and really, really liked it. What I like about it is they won't let the kids bring any of the stuff home with them, they make a little portfolio for them. That's so cute! She did paint a special picture for Tony, of the ocean with the sun on the horizon, and it's so simple, but I absolutely love it. I even asked her if we could frame it, and put it up in our dining room that has other sea pictures in it. But, she wants to send it to her dad, which I can understand.
Jonny is doing great with potty training. No accidents! He is doing so well! I can't believe he's four already.
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Day Dos, if your name is Dora or perhaps Diego
We got our first email this morning. Tony seems very bummed in the email. He must have told me he loved me about fifty times. It was like "After I write this, I think I'm going to take a nap. I love you. Then, I'll get up, and take a poop. I love you. Hopefully I can meet up with blah blah blah I love you" I tease, but it was really very sweet, and I can just hear the sadness in his email. He said he doesn't remember the deployment being this difficult. I think it's difficult because it's SO different from his previous ones. In his other deployments, he left with a ship crawling with people, he was there with his friends, and he could immediatetly throw himself into his work right away, and I'm sure there was an air of excitement on the ship. This time though, he flew for a long time alone, when he gets there, his crew is out and he won't meet up with them for a few days. It's got to be hard. :( I know that me and the kids are definitely the lucky ones in this scenario.
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