Is summer over yet? I am so tired of faking enthusiasm and the constant feeding of childred. I swear every ten minutes Aislinn is showing me something on her Pokemon game. Look! My blah blah is evolving !Look I caught a blah blah! Look how small a blah blah is compared to a person! (yes they do show a size comparison for fake pocket monsters). I try to be patient about it, and throw out the fake mommy "WOW!" and "AWESOME!" But, I found this only encourages her, so then I go to "Neat." notice lack of exclamation. Then it's just "MMhmmm" then I usually end it with "Seriously Aislinn! I don't want to hear about POKEMON all damn day" Then I calm down and vow to do better the next day and the whole process starts all over again. She seems to need a constant stream of electronic entertainment, but really it's August, it's hot, and school is about to start. I'm both not too worried and too tired to really give a shit. She'd be outside if one could go out there without melting.

As far as feeding children goes, this is just a fucking thorn in my side. Trust me, I don't want my kids to starve. Yet, whatever I suggest immediately gets poo pooed so I just stopped suggesting. Then of course, when I start fixing myself something to eat, then it's all "ooh what are you having? Eggs?" Even if I ask them before I make something to eat. "Do you want eggs? Do you want toast?" They almost always say no. Then, as I'm cooking MY food, they all of a sudden want something, usually completely different. If I making scrambled eggs, they want omelets. If I am having leftover chicken from last nights dinner, they want ramen noodles. Whatever it is, it usually means I have to WAIT to eat the food that I was in the process of cooking, which pisses me off as I'm pretty hungry at this point. Then, when I make it, they usually don't eat what I make. There have been a few times I've made them wait until I waas finished eating. I know that gives visions of my kids wasting away while I stuff my gullet. Not so. I just don't think jumping up to take care of a child's whim is a good thing.

Don't even get me started on dinner. It's too depressing. At least one will hate what I've made for dinner and will either eat cereal or canned raviolis. I've kind of slacked in the dinner department because it's too frustrating. Last night it was pushing 9 and I hadn't cooked a thing. Tony finally took it upon himself to try and fix them something to eat. Everything he suggested was met with disdain by one or both. He finally ended up playing short order cook, and I just said "Aaaand that's why I didn't cook dinner" It's exhausting!! It sucks having to cook a meal in the heat knowing that someone is going to whine.

I keep saying I'm going to ban all fast food, take out, eating out for a month. I say it, but I never do it. I give in way to much and I honestly think it's because I know it will always be met with a "YEAH!" and then I get to hear about how great a mom I am. It's easier in so many ways, but I always sit there feeling guilty about the crap food my kids are eating.