Sunday, August 31, 2008

It's been a week

If I were to sum my week up into one neat, tidy sentence it would be:
Tony is a douche.

There, end of blog post.

Seriously, he just really upset me earlier in the week. I took some me time to sit and play Sims. I NEVER play Sims anymore. It had been a month or more. I cooked a nice dinner and loaded the dishwasher while I did so and there was enough room for the dinner dishes so I didn't turn it on. Right after dinner I told Tony I felt like playing and told the kids to pretty much stay out of my room. I went upstairs after awhile, he came to bed. I stopped playing. I asked if he turned the dishwasher on and he said no. Ok. Why not? But, whatever. I went downstairs, and the dinner dishes were still on the table at 1 am. So, at 1 am I was scraping plates, and putting the dishes in the dishwasher. I was not happy. The next day he had duty, and I didn't call him at all. He said he tried to call, but the phone wouldn't ring (we have this problem) and expected me to call him. But, I was mad, and had a whole day to just stew.

When he got home, I told him that he hurt my feelings. How it hurt that he didn't care enough to realize that I never have any time for myself anymore, and when I made time (he always says all I have to do is just make the time, and he'll help) he left the work for me to do. He said he was sorry. But, you know I'm sick of sorry. It's always he's sorry and then he never does what he's supposed to do. It's not like I wanted him to clean the tub, or scrub toilets. I got angrier, and he got angrier, and then it turned into him yelling that I'm the stay at home parent, and he shouldn't HAVE to do anything. Which is so unlike Tony, I was just floored, shocked and hurt. It wasn't an argument about who does what, it was about how he could think it's ok to leave food out and crusty plates on the table? What if I had just gone right to bed? I would have to deal with it in the morning as he had duty. I would have been furious. In my mind, it's never ok to leave food out! Not to say I haven't ever left a jar of peanut butter on the counter over night with the jar open, I'm talking dirty plates. We make fun of people who do that! Also, MY plate was in the sink, and one of the kids was in the sink, whichever was finished by the time I was. Tony and the other kid (I can't remember which) was still eating.

I ended up taking the kids to the park, and only coming back when our hunger was too much. I left a meatloaf in teh oven, and he had pulled it out on time. When I walked in he said "I wasn't sure if you wanted anything to go with the meatloaf" I snapped "Of course that means you didn't make ANYTHING because I didn't give you step by step instructions on what to do" and started to make steamed brocolli. I mumbled "No wonder you're in the military, you can't ever think for yourself, or make decisions on your own"

So, that set my whole week into motion, of pretty much ignoring my husband. He's been trying to do better, and we've gotten over it, but still a bitter part of me is still burning over the stay at home parent part. I know he doesn't like his job (he told me yesterday that it's not as bad as recruiting, but its almost) and he must think staying home all day, with the third day me doing it all alone is sitting on easy street. Then only to have my partner who is supposed to help me out, leave dirty dishes on the table and go to bed. I purposely don't ask him to do much, since he IS so busy. Take out the trash, put the food away at night. He does them only half the time. That's it. He cuts the grass when it's unbearably high.

So yeah, that's been my week. We did go to the beach yesterday evening, which was nice. We have some issues with the house buying. Not so much issues, as it's just a different situation than most people are in. Basically the owner isn't LISTING the house, but offering it to us at this price. Becuase of this, we're unable to get a realtor, and we just feel really like we're not going to be fairly represented. When we think about it though, there really is NO way for us to be ripped. With a VA loan, they won't loan us the money if their appraiser finds something wrong with the house, and we'd hire an inspector. I already know some issues we're going to bring to the table, old windows, and I think we need to have the chimney fixed as it leaks water during heavy rains, and I'm sure the roof is old.

Anyway, to end this bitchy post on a positive note here are some pictures from the beach yesterday....

It is surprisingly hard to get these two to take a picture together. I thought once they got older it would be easier but now we have the whole "I'm not going to touch him" or "She's squeezing me too hard" bro/sis thing going on and they both are easily distracted, so getting them to look at the camera and smilie at the same time is like trying to catch lightening in a bottle.

The two boys playing in the sand. They had a grand time

Jonny saw someone burying someone else, and wanted Tony to do it to him. Then Tony got a great idea:

This is what Aislinn likes to do best, find stuff in the water. At one point she had on her goggles, face down in the water. We caught a video of it, as she looked like a crazy person. But, she was having fun, that's all that matters.
This is a piece of mother of pearl, which I love to find on the beach. They are always inside the ugliest shells, and that is comforting to me for some reason. Inside the ugly, gnarly shells that most people look over, is a complex and shiny beauty. Kinda like some people you know? This piece was without shell though, I had never seen that before.
They had some type of sail boat thing ending right when we got there. I got to take some pictures though, the sails were colorful, and beautiful.

I love this picture. It's kind of like the one I took on put on our Christmas card.

Sunday, August 24, 2008

Yesterday, we decided to take the kids to Busch Gardens. When we first started the day, I was thinking about how having kids changes your perspective of an amusement park, how you do things you wouldn't normally do because you're usually too busy standing in line for the roller coasters and stuff. My perspective changed after awhile though.

Man, my kids... don't tell them I said this, but they're big ole wusses.

Jonny cried over just about every single effing ride while we were in line for that ride. We're talking the CAROUSEL folks. We didn't make them go on anything that was too fast, or to spinny. He didn't even want to ride the little kids rides at Dragonland. He didn't want to walk across the rope bridge at the playground part. He was so adamant about the rope bridge thing, he took off! Yes, he ran away in a crowded amusement park! While I was halfway across the fucking suspended rope bridge thing. Tony looked away for one second in aggravation, and I saw Jonny shoot down the stairs. I tried to yell, but Tony couldn't hear it was so loud. I picked my way across the bridge, and we went chasing after him. I thought Tony was going to bust one of his veins in his forehead! All the rides we did make him go on, he did enjoy. Except the Log Flume. He didn't like that one at all. BTW, that was most exciting ride we went on.

Aislinn was pretty adamant about not riding anything either. She just wanted to do things that cost extra money. Like get her face painted for TWELVE effing dollars (we did let her do that) and play games. She wanted to play games the WHOLE time, and got mad when we only allowed her to play ONE game. Do you want to know how much we payed for that game? TEN dollars. The game where you throw the wiffle balls and they land in the cups. Guess what we won? NOTHING. That's right a big ole pile of nothing for ten dollars. She just didn't get why I didn't want to waste my money on those games. She sees all these people walkng around with these stuffed animals, and they either got really lucky, or they're walking around with $50 stuffed animal. She CRIED when we left the game area, because mean old mom didn't want to spend the grocery money for her to have a good time.

While we were playing that game, I watched a man totally bully his way into a prize. That really bothered me. How would someone think that is an ok thing to do? He claimed his ball went into a yellow cup, and the kid showed him that if it HAD gone in the cup it would have stayed in the cup (if it falls in a white cup, it falls through) the kid took the yellow sleeve out and showed him the bar at the bottom, that enables the cup to stay put, and the guy STILL insisted that he had a ball in that cup! WTF?!? He blustered (from embarrassment I'm sure) "Well someone took it out!" There was ONE guy behind that counter, and he was helping us the whole time. What an ass! While his kid stood there and watched. All for a tiny stuffed monkey. Asshole!

Then, when we wanted to go on one of the 4D rides, an employee said it was closed for a bit as it wasn't working, right as she said that, some people came out of the exit, and yelled at us "Hey, don't waste your time! It's closed!" Then they storm over to the employee (this teeny asian teenager) and starting YELLING at her! "This is the SECOND time this has happened, why can't you guys get your stuff together? Why did you make us walk ALL THE WAY THROUGH to only have it be broken?!?" Blah blah blah. As Tony and I walked away, I turned to him and said "What is THAT girl going to do about it? What is the purpose of yelling at that poor girl? She's not a mechanic, and she's not psychic." People are really just gross sometimes.

We really DID have a good time though. The kids liked looking at everything, as Busch Gardens has a lot of animals. The show we saw was this little skit with house pets. Dogs, cats, rats, parrots, etc doing all these tricks. It was pretty cool. I just want to know how they trained those cats to do that stuff? It was really cute. The finally was the animals doing tricks without a trainer on stage. It was really cute, they had a white cat, and a black cat jump in a bucket, and then three black and white cats came out. Things like that. I think they said they had 36 animals in all in the show and all of them were from the SPCA.

We saw the Clydesdales. They probably won't be there next year since Anheisur Busch sold out. My father in law gave us eight free tickets to go, and this is the last year we'll get those. I'm sure :( Supposedly, the park has been sold to a private owner. We had dinner that was way to expensive, but hey, we got to eat next to a roller coaster!

The hit of the day by far was the bumper cars. They had little kid bumpers that they could drive themselves, and then we each took a kid in a big bumper, and we had a wild time crashing into each other. Jonny just giggled cracked up through the whole thing.

We left around nine and it was just enough to see and do what we could with the kids. They were really good overall. We stopped and got ice cream at McDonalds on the way home, and I got a Starbucks. I was exhausted and as soon as I got home last night at 10:30 I went to bed.

Friday, August 22, 2008

Could this be really happening?

So, this house thing seems to be coming along. So far, the guy DOES want to sell, and has given us a price. Of course the price will be fanagled with back and forth.

I eemailed my friend Barbara who sells real estate, just to get some info. My email went like this...

Hey girl,

We got an interesting offer from the owner of this house. He is ready to sell, and we want to buy.


What do I do first?


Because I have no clue about anything buying a house related. I live oh 900 miles from my BIL who sells houses. I even googled "How to buy a house" and just got a lot of info about morgages and how you need to pre-qualify and all that. Well duh of course I know THAT, but what's the first STEP? What do I do FIRST. WHAT?

Anyway, it may be happening soon! My friend Barbara gave me a lot of great info, things I wouldn't have thought about, things to look for with being military etc. What banks to avoid, even if they have "Navy" in the name. Things like that.

I am so excited! Today.. I looked at puppies. And kittens. And rats.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Mean girl

I am a mean girl.

I can't help it. I don't know why, you'd think after years of being teased in grade school, I'd know better, but I can't help it. If I don't like someone, the dislike, it takes hold fairly quickly and fairly strongly. Sure, there have been a few people that have managed to change my mind. Roxie, Mike's wife for one. I didn't like her the first time I met her, but now she is one of my best friends. That had to do with listening to what someone else had to say about her that was never anything positive for years. I had never met her, but was told about her from her so called best friend, and none of it was nice. So, that colored my opinion. But, she is the sweetest person, and I can't believe someone can talk smack about her. That's like talking smack about a rabbit, or a unicorn. Fucking bunnies with their noses, and fluffy butts. Damn unicorns, thinking they're all high and mighty with their... um.. horns. See? Doesn't work does it? Same thing with Roxie.

Recently I read the Twilight series, that is amazing by the way. Those of you mourning Harry Potter. Go get you a dose of Edward. Anyway, there is a phenomenom in the book that involves werewolves. (yes werewolves too! I am telling you, read the books!) called imprinting. That is where they are walking along one day doot da doot da do, and then BAM they make eye contact with a female, and all of sudden they're hearts are instantly intertwined. Even if... er um they're babies. But, not sexually when they're babies, it goes beyond lust, as it's just an intense love, and protectiveness. Anyway, that how I liken my dislike for people. Once it's been imprinted into my soul, not much is going to change it.

It's a characteristic that I do not like in myself. Not everyone I dislike does it ever go that far (again Roxie) there are people I dislike in general that I am more than able to tolerate and even be friendly with in a social gathering. There are some though, there are some that just can't do anythign right in my eyes. No matter how positively I try to act around them, that mean girl sneaks in and I can barely contain my mocking tone, my air of disdain, and over all aloofness.

One might point out that it's not so hard to be nice. For some it is, but for me, I can not help it. I have tried to like or at the very least tolerate these imprinted people but it always ends up in failure. I feel shame for feeling glee at their failures, or their attempts to do things I think they may be doing because I did them first.

It's an ugly trait, one I am not proud of, but one that may not ever change.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

G'night you crazy kids

Jesus please-us. The kids have been driving me crazy lately. I don't know if it's my PMS or if it's just taking FOREVER for school to start or they're just being major pains in the asses.

Today they both ended up grounded from all the fun things at home. The only thing they could watch was what I wanted to watch on TV, and I turned on the Olympics. Teehee. They did NOT enjoy that at all.

When they're being punished, I am punished along with them, and it's so tempting to just let them off the hook just to get some peace, but I didn't. Since they're not preoccupied, they ask me a gagillion and one questions, they wrestle, and that usually means someone will end up in tears. I had to watch Jonny's "magic" which was going into the kitchen cupboard and making the drawer move. Oooh magic!

Tony having duty every three days really, really sucks. On top of that, this week and next, he'll be doing 18 hours of watch or something crazy. So, tomorrow he'll come home from work, have dinner, and go to bed. Then he'll have one "normal" day, and then duty again, 18 hours of watch and then more sleeping. I try not to be bitter about it. The kids are just all up in my arse!

We got the last of Aislinn's supplies today. She picked out a green camo backpack, and I was surprised by my angry reaction to it. I mean, I was pissed! Then I was pissed because it bothered me so much. This just wasn't what I imagined having a little girl. I also didn't imagine having to buy her the ugliest shorts on the planet (long knee length basketball type mesh shorts) for school either. The thing is, right now is the PERFECT time to be a girl. You are never stuck with "girly" stuff. I found the cutest messenger bag that was black white and hot pink (my fave color combo right now) the black and white was kinda like toile, but it was like skulls, dogs, bows, bones, stuff like that. On one hand cute but only a bit girly. But, NOOOOO she went with the green CAMO backpack. Then to confound me even MORE, she got a Hannah Montana lunch box.

I should respect her decisions, and feel blessed that my daughter thinks outside the box. Next time, I'll point at all the ugly backpacks and say I like those the best, and I know she'll not want them. She was going to go for a black and white camo back pack and I made the mistake of saying I liked that one better than the green, so she immediately put the black and white down in favor of the green. She lives to irk me.

I think the rest of the week is going to be pretty decent weather wise. I'm trying to come up with something to do with the kids that isn't going to cost a fortune. Thursday my playgroup is doing breakfast and the zoo. I may do that, or I may skip it and do something just the three of us. It's getting really hard trying to fill the days with fun things without spending all our money.

Monday, August 18, 2008

Saturday the phone rings, and I answer. It was our leasing company for the townhome. The owner of our townhome is thinking of selling it, and hey would we be interested? Tony wasn't home, so I gave them the "I have to talk to my husband" line and fight the urge to reassure her that I was not chained to the stove and NO it's my choice to be a stay at home parent. I hate having to say "I need to talk to my husband" but really, isn't that the POLITE thing to do?

I really didn't expect Tony to be all "Hmmm why not?" since he's been pretty anti-purchasing of a townhome. My heart gave a little flutter. We talked about it, and I'm pretty positive that I may be ensconced in my own home very soon. Is it unrealistic to think before December? I'm not sure. It could even be THIS one, which would be fine by me. First thing? I'd rip up the carpet in the dining room. Carpet in dining room is just yuck. Second I'd change the tiling in the foyer. Thirdly, I'm going to paint every motherfucking room in this house some wild and outrageous color. I've already have some ideas for our living room.

Tony just came to his senses about homes. The choices are these.... unattatched home the same size we have now, in a not so great neighborhood with private schools for the kids, or big unattatched homes in the ghetto with private schools for the kids, or a small townhome in the best school district in the area. For me... it's a no brainer. Not that I'm against private school, but why pay when you have an amazing school two blocks from you? Aislinn has really grown there.

So, everything is up in the air right now. We're supposed to get more info today. Tony is looking at other houses in the area. He found one a four bedroom in our price range but without AC. Um pass.

I am getting excited. I wasn't sure if I was ready for this next step, and it was the nudge I needed to make it.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Obligatory vacation post

You know how it is, your friends go on vacation, they come back, they HAVE to bore you with the details and pictures of themselves smiling in front of different backgrounds. I have gone back and forth on whether or not I would go there. Not because I want to keep it a secret or anything, I'm just really lazy.

Ok quickly summed up... it was great. I hit all three times zones in 10 days. I got a great family vacation combined with an awesome girls only weekend.

Then end