Monday, September 13, 2010


Ok, so this blog has completely fallen to the wayside and I know that, and I suck. What can I say? I suck!!

So, Saturday after the kids left with their dad, I headed out for my facial appointment and I was late. I was late because dickhead got there late. My plan was to shower after the kids left. He was supposed to pick them up at 11. Of course he didn't pick them up until noon. If he had just called and SAID he was going to be late, then I would have showered before he got there, but you know how it is, you hold off thinking it will be a few minutes and you keep doing that until you're like FUCK! I kept thinking.. if I shower, he'll show up and then I'll be nude WHILE HE'S HERE and well that's just unacceptable. Bad enough he has the impeccable timing to know when I'm pantless to show up at the door. Usually when I know he's coming, I get up at dawn, dress in a burka and wait JUST IN CASE.

Anyway, so I'm driving to my facial appointment and I've got the windows down, and I'm speeding, because that's how I drive. I'm not crazy speeder, but you know.. you gotta go a little fast, you're in a big metal box with an engine and wheels. In others words.. WHEEEEE! So, why drive slow? I'm also a bit aggravated because, and this was my own fault, I had to pack a bag before I left because after my appointment I was going to my guy friends house to hang out and stay the night. No you can't know his name. No he's not officially my boyfriend. No you can't have any details other than there is a person with a penis who I visit every chance I get that is NOT my boyfriend... yet. Like that little yet? Thought so, it gave me butterflies just typing it. Well, I was driving and realizing I forgot an asston of stuff because dickhead made me late (well, the bag I could have packed while I was waiting, but in the moment it was dickheads fault)

So, I'm driving, speeding and thoroughly distracted, yet I do have the right of mind to know that the salon has a way of sneaking up on me. That I always think I have further to go when BAM there it is and there it goes and the next u-turn is half a mile down the road and I'm late as it is. All this is going through my head, as I'm making a concious effort NOT to miss the salon, that I must remember... HOLY SHIT THERE'S THE SALON and instead of doing the good girl thing and continueing down the way half a mile down the road to make the u-turn I think slamming on the brakes and going over two lanes is the PERFECT idea.

Yeah not so much.

I completely cut off this guy who lays on the horn. Rightfully so, I mean I would have done the same as this guy if I were in his shoes. What I did was foolish and dangerous and all the other negative words that can describe the situation. But, yay for defensive driving on his part, we're both safe, move along have a good day.

So, why did this asshole follow me into the parking lot? Oh yeah, you read that right. He FOLLOWED ME. Now, I'm sweating and getting nervous. He turned down the side street and met me window to window before I could park.

I immediately say to him before he can get a word in "I am SO sorry, I am so sorry, I am so sorry." I must have said that like 5 or 6 times. I really was. I thought he would accept that and move on, but what I was forgetting is he FOLLOWED ME so, no he's going to get his say in.

"WHAT on earth were you thinking? What were you doing? You could have gotten me into a VERY serious accident. What were you thinking?" Ok, he's obviously irate, so I say in a very apologetic voice "I am so sorry sir, I apologize, I wasn't thinking, it was a horrible mistake I'm so sorry." Again thinking he would leave, granted in a huff, but satisfied. AGain, forgetting he chose to FOLLOW ME into the parking lot, so he's got more crazy to spew.

"What is your problem?!? I want to know your thought process!! I could give you a ticket you know. I should give you a ticket! What the HELL were you thinking? What is your problem? Why would you do something so dangerous and foolish?" Again more apologizing from me.

This goes back and forth about 2 more times, almost exactly. Him asking me the same questions (What was I thinking yadda yadda yadda) me apologizing (It was an accident, it was a mistake, I'm sorry).

Finally, I said "Look, I've apologized profusely, I told you I wasn't thinking, I made a mistake, and honestly sir, I don't know what more I can do to convince you I'm sorry. Yes, I could have caused an accident, but there wasn't one. We're both safe, and so are the other drivers, if I could go back and change it, I would but I can't. I'm sorry." Now, I'm saying this in a pissed off voice because I can't believe King Douche can't let this go.

Well, KD didn't like my TONE. He starts shaking his head and pulls out a notepad to take my name and number down. He said to give me his name, I said "Prove your a cop." Yeah. All of a sudden I got more "What were you thinking?" Just on and on and on.

I asked him what more could I do? Did he want money? He looked completely offended. Did he want blood? No, he wanted to know my thought process. Fine, I was driving, the salon came up on my suddenly, and without thinking.. I swerved. End of story. Was this good enough for KD? Nooooooooo. He wanted to harangue me more.

Finally, I burst into tears. Oh yeah. I did. Because the guy became like my dad. I love my dad but when I was a kid, no matter how much I tried to convince him of something, once he made up his mind that was it, and he'd keep going and going until I agreed that I did it too. Then I usually got spanked for lying. It wasn't like a flashback or anything, but it was just... I knew that no matter what I said, this guy wasn't going to be happy until I was completely contrite, and he wasn't going to leave me alone until I got the magnitude of what I had done, but yet he wasn't sure what it was going to take for him to be satisfied either, so harrassing me was the only option and I felt trapped so I cried.

He asked why I was crying I said "A strange man, confronts me in a parking lot? As a single woman you hear these things turning ugly all the time. I don't know you from Adam and here you are screaming at me." Oh but he's only screaming because I got an attitude first. Well, yeah I did. YOU FOLLOWED ME INTO A PARKING LOT TO HARRASS ME DOUCHEBAG.

At this point people are gathered around, Ashley the receptionist came out to check on the situation as she recognized my car, and at this point I was REALLY late. Finally, I pulled into a parking space, crying and yelling things like "Are you happy? Are you satisfied? You followed a strange woman into the parking lot and made her cry on a Saturday, and beautiful Saturday. Are you happy?!?" He starts to pull off and shaking his head he says one last thing "Unbelievable" and I'm all "Oh I'm unbelievable? You're the psycho that followed me into a parking lot to confront me your crazy creepster!!" I grab my purse, and walk in a huff into the salon, while I waited for Molly to take me into the back to start.

As I sit there, I cry, and cry. Not boohoo but, leaky eyes and sniffles. So much so I had to put my sunglasses on. Then when I went back to the darkened room, and explained to Molly what happened, she leaves and i get undressed and lay there crying HARDER. She comes back in and we start talking about it some more, and I'm proffessing my confusion as to why I'm crying so much over it.

As she starts the facial, and I'm still kind of ranting I said "I think the part that pisses me off the most? I was just told I was a bad driver by an ASIAN guy."

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