The move is soon. About six weeks away. Tony has started to slowly get things fixed around here, and I've done some weeding of our junk and decluttering. One thing I have noticed is that I no longer give a shit about the house. Before we hit this six week mark, I would at least feel BAD that the house was a mess, even if I didn't do shit about it, but now, it's like eh I gotta give it a good cleaning when I leave here anyway, at least I can con my mom into helping me. I am the epitome of laziness.

I am all afluster and freaked out because of apartments. At any given time I have like three windows up, cross referencing between a site that gives reviews on apartments, the apartment site or rent.com, and greatschools.net to see where the best place would be to live. It's hard. They all start to bleed together after awhile and they all have wonderful calming names like "Vista at Orgasm Bay" and "Valley of the Milky Breasts" You have to weed through the apartment-ese to figure out the good from the bad.

The thing with Virginia Beach is that there are A LOT of apartments, since purchasing a home requires a blood oath and your first born child. Lots of new ones. None that are ever FUCKING CLEAR about exactly what they are by, and really it's pissing me off. Just once I want to see "Closests to Little Creek Amphib base" or "The apartment is sucky but GREAT schools" or " Really? Look elsewhere" I even emailed a place and recieved a very obvious form email back telling me I would LOVE it there, and please make an appointment for a tour of their pleasing apartments.

The plan is to make a list, and Tony will drive there, look at ALL of them, and then pick one and then come home. Oh and to get drunk with his friend Mitch. But, that has nothing to do with my new home. That's his plan, becuase he's a dude, and not only is he a dude, but a sailor and they love their drink.

I'm sad, but now I've moved onto the feeling of excitement too. I guess deep down, stifled beneath my crotchety ways and fear of change is a bit of an adventurer. My main concerns other than schools are 1. How am I going to watch Heroes and 2. INTERNET. Cuz the bitch loves her some internets. Amen then end.

Tony and I went out this weekend with friends for an adult only camping trip. Knowing that my wonderful children would be less than pleased at this news, I didn't tell them until the day we left where exactly we were going. Actually, less than pleased is being nice about it. They both pouted, stomped, and pulled at their hair in an act of rage and bitterness. But, haha kids, I didn't care. Because mommy was TIRED of you and your neediness. You guys with your "I want food, I want drink, I want my blanket, I want my butt wiped, but only counterclockwise, and DON'T YOU LOOK AT ME WHILE YOU'RE DOING IT DAMN YOU." It's a never ending fucking list of demands more ridiculous than the last. I knew it was time to jet when you guys started requesting your sandwhiches carved into the liking of van Goghs Starry night.

So, we dropped the kids off, and left without so much of a backwards glance to do all the fun things adults do uninterrupted when kids aren't around. Like drink, and swear freely, and listen to songs by Ludcris, where the word fuck isn't bleeped out or edited. Oh and Pictionary, lots and lots of Pictionary. Oh and WHAT?!? I can have sex IN THE TENT! Woohoo. I mean, it wasn't easy, or comfortable on a cheap blow up mattress, but you know you just HAVE to do it, just to say you at one time did. Crazy stuff!

I knew I was pushing the parenting karma when we went horseback riding. I knew that I wouldn't be able to NOT tell Aislinn we went, but I knew when I did, she would be mad, and instead of feeling bad about this... I felt glee. Pure glee! Like I just couldn't fucking WAIT man. Just like how my parents used to say they were going to go for a walk, and would be gone for like three hours, eating a nice calm dinner at Applebees while we waited around for them to come home. They'd walk in, and it was like they couldn't help themselves, they would trip over each other to see who would be able to tell us first that they had the quesidillas and a bourbon steak. They loved it. It's pretty much a not very talked about perk to being a parent, the gloating of WE DID STUFF WITH OUT YOU! SUCK IT KIDS!

We got home, and picked the kids up. Tony and I were already feeling post weekend camping let down. Aislinn was already pissed about being hungry, and wanting food, but not just any food, food made by someone OTHER THAN ME. Food that has never seen the inside of our house EVER.

We got them some pizza (and we heard bitching about THAT too), and herded them into the bath. I washed Jonny hair, and noticed he had something funky in his hair, which I could only assume even now, was wet cardboard. I didn't SEE any cardboard in the tub, probably becuase it was, well all in his hair. Thank God for that cardboard though.

I put him on the tub, to check out his hair, to make sure I got all the cardboard out. What I find was honestly completely unexpected, that I just couldn't believe it. Jonny was COVERED in lice. (Now everyone is scratching their heads). I mean, I thought Aislinn's lice the last time was bad, this... this took the fucking cake man. I don'tknow if it's because his hair is lighter or WHAT, but man the kids had freshly unhatched eggs RIDDLED through his hair. I mean, anywhere I would part there was a few eggs. The funny thing is, since Aislinn had the lice episode a few months back... I've been super anal about checking them, and I checked him not to long ago, but something happened and he was infested. When I saw the first bug, I yelled for Tony.

So, last night was spent picking nits out of Jonny's head. It was karma giving it back to me. If I didn't want to spend time with my kids, karma was going to MAKE me do, but in the most disgusting way possible.

Jonny was actually really sweet about it though. It hurt, of course, and really the only way to get nits out is to hand pick them off. The combs will get a good number of them out, but not nearly enough. For two hours, he sat with his head in my lap, eventually falling asleep while I picked every last thing I could find out of his head. This was no easy task, as there were a LOT of things in his head. Crawling and attatched. Even though we used the lice shampoo a lot of the lice were still alive, which doesn't give the shampoo a good review. He would cry out in his sleep if I couldn't get something off gently. :( Aislinn amazingly, only had ONE louse, and ONE egg by that louse. I've checked her obsessively and nothing, that was it.

Karma is a bitch.

I believe dreams can tell us things, give us insight to what is really going down in our lives. Not all the time mind you. Like I know some of my dream last night was greatly influenced by a book I just currently read. All the people in my dreat at one point was inflicted by some mysterious disease that made them crazy and want to hurt me. That just goes back to the Stephen King novel I finished Lisey's Story. Which is about a mysterious ailment that plagues a small family. The only way to release the bad gunky is to cut themselves. If they don't then they could eventually turn crazy, which is what happens to two of them. The one survivor goes on to become a famous writer who is retelling his story through his wife, after he is dead.

But, also last night I had a dream where I was constantly LATE for the airport. I don't know where I was supposed to go, or what I was supposed to do, but no matter how many times I tried to get there, I could never GET there, and if I by chance GOT there, something held me up so I couldn't go. This really has NOTHING to do with anything I read, wrote, saw, or watched on television, which of course has me questioning it this morning. Usually, if I dream I wake up and think "Oh well that was on TV last night" and move on. That's probably 90% of my dreams.

So I decided to look up being late on http://www.dreammoods.com/ and this is what it said. Honestly, how freaky is THIS considering my impending move and all.


Late

To dream that you are late, denotes your fear of change and your ambivalence about seizing an opportunity. You may feel unready, unworthy, or unsupported in your current circumstances. Additionally, you may be overwhelmed or conflicted with decisions about your future. You feel time is running out and that you do not have time to accomplish all the things you want.


Some could say Well DUH, and of course I can say that too, but, I don't know. I guess yeah, I kind of knew this, but to have it manifest itself in a dream, makes me realize it is mor of an issue than I realized.

It's around this time I really start to hate the NAvy in a big way. Well, not so much the Navy as my darling husbands infatuation with it. I just want to tell him he's a big boy, and on Top Gun, and Crimson Tide, they don't show you the things like... not paying you when you need to be paid, and all that.

Tony was screwed out of a eight thousand dollar bonus. One of the many annoying things about working for a "company" with like a million employees. People just stop fucking caring at a certain point. He was supposed to re-enlist in November, but they informed him that he wouldn't be getting a bonus. Um ok. So, they asked if he minded reenlisting in September. Sure, what the hey. Why not. And this is where the problem starts.

Tony WAS due for a bonus, but is not eligible because he re enlisted about a month before he shoudl have. Just trying to help his command out. They said after October it was going to really tough to get everyone together and get his reenlistmen done. Tony, being the nice guy he is, said Sure no problem. Essentially dicking himself out of 8 thousand dollars. Sometimes, nice guys? They do finish last.

They are trying to work it out, but he says the chances of him getting the money are slim. At least we werent expecting it, or counting on it. WOuld it have come in handy for our move? Hell yah it would have. But, what are you going to do right? Keep on trucking for the most part.

I'm just stressed. I of course told him that I dont know why he continues to stay loyal to these people who have dicke dhim out of more money than you can even possibly imagine. Why? He wanted to get off the phone then. Maybe even HE doesn't knwo why.

The magnitude of us moving hit me this weekend, and in the middle of a lot of pool playing (of which I did not partake because I suck terribly) wonderful fried foods, beers, and laughter, I felt the overwhelming urge to bawl, bawl like I had to wear socks and tennis shoes, and get my hair brushed.

Saturday, we had a birthday party for the son of some friends of ours. It was just your typical five year old party at INCREDIBLE PIZZA!! It was INCREDIBLE! with PIZZA, where the party was assigned a pizza nazi who gave you two minutes to wolf your food, and open prezzies and scarf cake, so they can usher the next herd in to keep the cash flow aflowin'.

We get there a few minutes late, and that was probably a mistake on our part. When I walked in, I saw people that meant a lot to me, people I may or may not see again before we leave, and people I will miss when we are gone, all seated together in a fun and festive atmosphere, even with the Pizza Nazi there with a fake smile on her face trying to snatch plates of pizza away, and push cake on everyone to hurry the whole process up. I realized in our years here in St. Louis (which really seems like a blink of an eye) that a lot of these people, parents of friends, extended relatives, had become like a family to us. Where every person doesn't get just a simple hello, they get a big hug, and a kiss from me and I get one in return. That I have no qualms kisssing these people, because even though none of blood is the same, they are in spirit and love, related to us.

With having the kids around and games to play, we all get seperated. But, near the end we all met up and decided to ditch our kids and have an adult party. We quickly called my SIL who agreed to take the kids overnight. We dropped them off, and met our friends at a sports bar and grill.

In the middle of it all, just experiencing life, I looked around at my friends, all laughing and having a good time, and wanted to cry. It didn't help when our friend Mike gave every scenario possible for us NOT to leave, which made it worse. A lot worse. Seeing him trying to convince me and Tony so hard to STAY, just STAY already, broke my heart.

Time is a ticking. With that also comes so much to do on our part, I just don't know how much more time we're going to be able to see them. There is truly NOT enough time.

I had a surreal moment today if I may be so cliche as to use the word "surreal" which I'm pretty sure I'm using incorrectly, but what the hey, I ain't got no college lernin', and I dos the best I can. Ayup.

Anyway. Sorry.

Like I said, today I just had one of those moments. One of those MOMENTS. I just can't describe it any other way than to shout it at you like you're a deaf immigrant who doesn't understand the language. Because YELLING it always helps. It was just ONE OF THOSE MOMENTS.

I went to school to pick up Aislinn, and she wasn't in her usual place. She wasn't dizzily spinning around as if there weren't twenty other kids around her, lost in her own world of fantastical spinning. What always amazes me is that if you have a group of kids, and one is spinning like a crazy, the kids can naturally and with instinct, even without looking, know to move out of the way. Nor was she picking up every bit of trash on the sidewalk, and tyring to stuff it in her backpack before I see. I get out of the van, to walk to the part of the sidewalk she can see me from if she is inside. All of a sudden I hear.

"MOM!"

I just kind of stand there.

"MOM!"

I look around... recognizing my girls voice.

"MOM"

Then I see her from far away, she had decided to walk to the corner and I passed her right up.

As I watched her walking toward me, trying not to run (as they are not allowed to do so) but trying to get to the sanctity of the van, I realized...... I'm MOM! Me, I'm that delightful childs MOTHER. I just wanted to shout to everyone "Hey! Me?!? I'm MOM!" I'm THAT GIRLS MOM! ME! ME!

Aislinn and Jonny are teh best things I've done in my life. I couldn't get much luckier.

A bit of a kid update since I really don't talk about them much, or so I've been told. LOL

Aislinn is doing really well in school. She got the best progress report she's ever gotten last week. Her behavior is really good, and she's finally gotten into the whole school experience. She doesn't whine about not like school, or not wanting to go. We are still having clothing, and shoe issues, but I just don't think she'll ever get over those until she gets older. I decided to let her try picking her own outfits, and that was a bust. She went to school one day (after much arguing and fussing about her pants feeling weird) with a purple, black and gray scooter, and a red and white Cardinal shirt. She looked like a ragamuffin. After that, I told her that I know that she is looking more for comfort than looks, but she has to at LEAST try to make them match or cooridnate. I know that sometimes I let her wear stuff that might not necessarily "match" but they go together. I explained to her when she goes to school looking like that, it looks like her mommy and daddy don't care about her. When she dresses like that I just want to pin a note to her that says in big bold letters "I am dressed like this because I wouldn't listen to my mom" Just so everyone knows it's not me, it's her!!

She and I are getting along amazingly though. I want to get this book to help us mend our relationship. I know that may sound weird to some people, that we need to mend a relationship that should be naturally loving and tender, but if or until you have a child like Aisy, you just can't even begin to imagine the world we sometimes live in. Some people just don't get how awful it can be sometimes. You find yourself trying to avoid your OWN child. You think "Phew, she's doing XYZ for now" and just wanting her to just keep DOING it and not come talk to you, because you know that just by talking, one of you can be set off. We had some issues with the Nintendo DS. She broke one, and misplaced another. She is constantly losing the games. Yet we were still letting her play with them. Why? Because she was QUIET and not causing chaos and turmoil in the house. Sometimes you just need a breather.

I see her though, and she is growing up into this amazing person with her own ideas, and it's awesome. I can sit and bemoan the fact that she won't wear the clothes I like, and she doesn't want to do things that are at all "girly" but, I've come to realize that hey, that's kind of cool. I'm not girly either, so I don't know why I wanted her to be so. In the end, she is her own person, even if she is seven. She has likes and dislikes, and she wants to do things that make her her own person. How I can I fight that? Why should I want to CHANGE that? I need to remember these are MY issues not hers.

Jonathan is still my little cuddle bug. My cuddle bug that refuses to poop in the damn potty, but my cuddlebug none the less. He is just so.... BOY. He cracks me up with his antics. I can't stay mad at that little shit, becuase he knows that you get more flies with honey than vinegar, and uses his three yr old cuteness to his full advantage. Just give mommy a smile, tell her she's pretty, and give her a kiss, all is ok. He is such a blessing after having Aislinn, so easy going. If I tell him he can't have something in the store, he might whine for about 2 seconds, then he forgets about it. Very much like his father that one is. Aislinn is very much like ME, so there you go.

He has started telling us he's awesome. Everything is "awesome" to him. "Did you see me do that mom? Wasn't that awesome?" "Did you see that trash truck mommy? Man, it was SO awesome!" "Whoa I just shot a booger out of my nose!! It was awesome" (actual conversation). He also told us the other day he was a genius. We don't know why he thinks that, but he does. At least he doesn't have self esteem issues. He loves to perform for me all the time, he loves to make people laugh. He can't pass a mirror without stopping and doing a little acting to watch himself. Yes, he will be one of those silly boys flexing in the mirror.

Both of them sleep in the same bed. They've decided it's better that way. I just let them. It's just too cute. Even the other night, Aislinn had a friend over, and told her friend she feels better sleeping with Jonny, and went to sleep in there with him. I wouldn't have wasted my money on bunk beds that's for sure.

Tony is doing well. I'll throw him in here as he's my third child. He's excited about moving. He is doing well at work, even though he is counting down the days.

That's my update.