Wednesday, May 28, 2008

I just want to be like everyone else

Is that too much to ask?

Yeah, I'm holding a pity a party for myself today. Why? Oh only because I woke up with a pounding headache, only after going to bed with one. I am SO sick of headaches it's not even funny. It's freaking ridiculous that my HEAD! The holder of my BRAIN! which is the thing that keeps me alive, is the freaking BANE of my existence.

Stupid head. *kicks dirt*

The thing is.... this is totally normal for me. Constant headache-dom. People might think DAMN BITCH get a cat scan or something. Seriously, this has been a constant issue for me since childhood. I have constant, almost everyday head aches. Chronic would be the fancy book learnin' word I guess. Anything can trigger it for me it seems. Hungry for too long... headache that moves over into migraine territory, even AFTER I EAT! Thirsty... headache. Tired... headache. Too much sleep... headache. Too much caffeine..headache. Not ENOUGH caffeine... headache. Heat... headache. Exercise..headache. Spring...sinus headache. Summer...heat headache. Winter... green booger snot headache. Fall.... sinus headache. Kids being too loud... headache. Not enough sex.... headache. Pretty much... I breathe, I get a headache.

The end.

Ok like right NOW... right now I am pain free. But, that can change. I can get up and WALK into the other room, where the pressure might be slightly off in there, or there may be a different scent, and I will get that little niggling of pain.

A few years ago, I went to the Dr. about these headaches. He pretty much told me I had rebound headaches. That my body had gotten used to the constant stream of drugs I was putting into my system. I bounced from Excederin migrain, to tylenol, to advil all day long, hoping one of those (or combo of those) would be the wonder drug to get rid of my pain. He prescribed me some pill to help me sleep, and it would help with waking up with a headache, and I was to stop all over the counter pain relievers. Which was a bitch. My body revolted big time! But, he was right for the most part. A lot of my painful headaches were rebound headaches. So now I don't take a lot of medicine for my headaches. Even my migraines, I have an RX for, but I don't take it EVERY time because it's a triptan, which can cause rebound migraines, which makes me want to curl in the fetal position just thinking about that. So, I switch. One migraine (cuz you know I can get like three a week!) gets the Zomig, one migraine gets a wonderful little coctail I found online. Three excederin migraines and an advil. I switch it up just to keep the body guessing.

What caused my headache last night? I exercised. I know right? I drank my water, I exercised for thirty minutes while watching Dr. Phil, and I got off the treadmill with weak legs, and a head ache. Also it didnt help that my bedroom was 80 degrees last night and I spent a lot of time in there after I exercised. Its just not fair. I want to be normal damn it! *sobs*

Oh well. Push through the pain, that's the only thing I can do. I can pretty go on with life even with the headaches. Migraine included, well most of them anyway. The sick to the stomach ones I can't. The kids are great about them. At four, Jonny knows if momma is sleeping during the day, that she has a headache and he's ALWAYS such a good boy. He actually gets in LESS trouble when I'm sleeping then he does when I'm awake. Luckily those are few and far between. When I wake up he'll ask "Is your headache all gone now?".

I wish baby. I really do.

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