With Tony gone, I can't just go out on my own and get time alone, but I have found that when I really just need to get away, I put my headphones on. It works surprisingly well. I can block out all the noise and hub bub of the kids, and just kind of sink into myself. I throw them on and do the chores I need to get done. It reminds me of when I was a kid, I would put on my little cassette player (how's that for 80's?) and listen to Madonn's True Blue,or Paula Adbul's Forever Your Girl cassette while I had to clean my room, or the basement. Sometimes, I'd let my sister listen to her Bobby Brown cassette, but only when I was feeling nice.
I've never been a picky music listener. I know some people who get an immense sense of satisfaction when listening too music. The music speaks to them, and sometimes they can be a little scornful of say Britney Spears. I don't care about all that. I like music because I like it. I'll sing along to Britney Spears, I like her music.
But, I am a woman, and I have to say if there was any music that "spoke" to me would be a good romantic song that makes me think "Oh yes, I've felt THAT before." Even though Tony and I are in our thirties with two kids, a mortgage and a dog, and are able to live away from each otehr for half a year, there were times when I thought I would die without his kiss. There were times I thought laying together skin to skin was not even close enough, and if I could I would tear open his chest to get closer. So, yeah I was a little psycho. But, when that love is new and fresh and hot (kinda sounds like a pizza commercial) with all that passion just burning your skin, you have a tendency to get a little crazy. You want to tie your lover up to a concrete pole and feed him strawberries lovingly in the dark, soundproof basement, while he weeps through his blindfold pleading wtih you "Who are you? Where am I? How did I get here? Why won't you let me go? I'm allergic to strawberries!"
Ok so maybe not EVERYONE feels that way. But, you know what I'm getting at. Love when it's new, it's ok to be a little bit obsessive over it.
Anyway, I spewed out all the crazy just to list my favorire romantic/love/sexy/crazy obsessive songs.
Brown Skin by India Arie
Everytime you come around, something magnetic pulls me and I can't get out.
Disoriented, I can't tell my up from down
All I know is that I want to lay you donw.
Ok... so Tony and I obviously do not have brown skin. Actually, we're about as white as you can get, skin wise. We're the honkiest of the honkies. We're so white, we've marvelled at our skin in the moonlight as it sometimes looks like it's glowing. Camera flashes bounce of my skin ok? We don't show up in mirrors, we hiss in the sun. Do you get what I'm saying? But, this song is HOT, and it makes me SAD that I don't have brown skin, as I want this song to apply to US. It is probably the sexiest song I've ever heard without being overly sexual.
Cupid's Chokehold By Gym Class Heroes
I mean, she even cooks me pancakes
And Alka-seltzer when my tummy aches
If that ain't love, then I don't know what love is
Because isn't that what it's all about? Someone to cook for you,and give you medicine when you're not feeling well? I love this song because it's real, because after you settle down and release him from his padded sound proof cell, it's the little things he does for you to make you feel good. Like not call the police.
Long Walk by Jill Scott
You're here, I'm pleased
I really dig your company
Your style, your smile, your peace mentality
Lord, have mercy on me
I was blind, now I can see
What a king's supposed to be
Baby I feel free, come on and go with me
This is one of my favorite songs of all time. This is one of those songs that I really hope comes round when I have the Ipod on shuffle, yet it rarely does for some reason. Anyway, this song is one of my favorites because it's simple message about love. That it's not about wine and roses. It's about taking the time to get to know one another and you're here and that's what makes me happy and the only thing that matters. Taking a long walk... it's cheap and it's good for the heart in more ways than one.
Sweetest Goodbye by Maroon 5
I'll never leave you behind
Or treat you unkind
I know you understand
And with a tear in my eye
Give me the sweetest goodbye
That I ever did receive
This song makes me cry everytime I listen to it. It reminds me of when Tony has to leave for any amount of time. Even when he was on shore duty and never had to go anywhere, I would still get choked up. The pain of having to say good-bye when you love someone is immense. I'm not an overly emotional person, but I weep everytime it's time to say good-bye and it never gets easier. *wiping tears away*
Ok so that's all I can think of right now, or actually I can think of a ton more, but I realize that music is subjective. Like the song Crazy Bitch by Buck Cherry is extremely hot in a very sick way, and obviously not for everyone.
You're crazy bitch
But you fuck so good I'm on top of it
When I dream
I'm doing you all night
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on
See, my crazy is coming out again, I better stop here.