Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Totally going to be lazy here

I'm going to post something on here I posted on one of my message boards. Sorry for those of you that read it there. But, I wanted to keep a record of it.

The question was about tackiest gifts recieved this year. A woman Chris got presents from the DUMP from her mother in law. Chris' presents were even broken. Nothing says I love you like broken dump presents.

But, that reminded me of the gifts from Nana this year:

Ok well we all agree Chris wins hands down. I thought my Nana was bad, but man Chris's MIL took the cake!!

My Nana is 78 and has a history of giving shitty gifts. The thing is... the woman knows what good taste is. She walked into my moms home with a new kick ass leather coat and a FENDI bag ok? A BIG FENDI bag. Not a wristlet. I could have put Louie in it. Actually, he was in it, trying to dig out a pork chop bone she had stashed away. Anyway.

She informed my mom that she got my sister's boyfriend Jordan a leather coat. We couldn't WAIT because we knew it was going to be horrible!! That's one of our favorite parts of Xmas. The passing out of tacky gifts by my Nana. First of all, Jordan is 21, and a hipster. You know the type, black band tee, houndstooth hoodie, pants down below the crack of his ass with a studded belt holding them there, lip ring, stretched out earlobes. The nicest guy you will ever meet, and my parents adore him (probably because he doesn't believe in premarital sex unlike their other two son in laws. )

So, she passes out gifts. My mom makes out well. Silver tray with cream and sugar set. Michelle gets one of those purses that used to house like nail polish.. sans nail polish. It's like the tiniest purse ever, and Michelle carries a suitcase. Her wallet is bigger than this thing. Bo gets a cell phone/purse wristlet in patent leather blue. I got a used copy of Dr. Phil's weight loss solution.. with SOMEONES OLD NOTES INSIDE. (In her defense she claimed she didn't know I was coming ) My dad got a camoflage shirt. My dad doesn't hunt, nor does he wear camoflage or has the pressing need to hide in the woods. The worst part is it was UGLY camo. With like leaves and sticks on it.

But, then came Jordan's coat. This used leather coat. It wasn't as bad as we thought, until she turned it around (I'm cracking up) and there was a big ole rip in the back. When we pointed it out she exclaimed "Well shit! I paid TEN DOLLARS for that thing!!"

Oh Nana. You never fail to amuse.

You know give us all $5 gc to Mickey D's if you feel the need to give us anything at all. We would rather not get anything than those things. It's feels like an insult.

As she left she puffed with pride and said "No one is ever disappointed when I shop from my house" Then she took her Fendi bag and left.

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