I once did something kind of wrong.
I bought a car without discussing it with Tony first. Probably one of the major rules of marriage (discuss big purchases with spouse first) and I broke it, and one of the few times I remember Tony being pissed, and worst of all embarrassed. By doing what I did, he his machismo took a hit. He was ok with me being in charge of the money for the most part, although he took some ribbing for it, but this... this was too much. This regulated him to "child status" and since we had a little 16 month old diva named Aislinn at the time, he was pretty much last in line in the old pecking order.
I could tell he was mad. I picked him up at the ship (he had been gone like a month) and there I had it. He tried to be cool about it. He tried to be happy for me. But, he hated it. It stood for everything he disliked overall about our marriage. On top of all the not asking him thing, I bought a KIA of all things. A Goddamned Kia.
A few weeks later I asked him about it, and he said "Yeah a bunch of guys got me together and just totally bitched at me about how I could let you buy a piece of junk like that, they're the worst cars ever, why is it so small (I got the Rio, the smallest model available)" I felt bad, but I didn't care. This car was in MY name, and this was a real proud accomplishment for me. I didn't need my dads help, I bought it myself. Even though I was married and had a child, THIS, THIS made me feel like an adult. Looking back though I can see it was also a total passive aggresive move on my part, because I think I was just pissed at Tony for being gone, and I totally got ass raped on the interest rate, so maybe dads helped would have been nice. But, WHATEVER man, I did it! Woohoo!
I drove that thing like I was the Mother Fucking Princess (to quote Avril) The reasons I bought the car was ONE... we were driving all three of us in an S-10 and TWO.. I hated paying for gas. Always have, and at 32 miles a gallon, this thing was the SHIT. Even though it was a bit of a rough ride, aaaand the interior was crap, it was zippy. I loved that zippy feeling. Where it felt like I was going 8o but I was going like 60, which was perfect for me, as I love to drive fast, but I hate driving fast. It was cramped too, but I loved that I could pretty much reach anywhere in the car, and still be able to drive. Aislinn dropped her sippy and was being a spaz? No problem. Got it! Haven't seen my daughter all day, and all I wanted to do was touch her? My hand rested on her leg, and I talked to her in the little mirror I put up, and we would laugh and sing, and I'd tickle her while driving. Try that in an SUV.
That car was driven from Norfolk to St. Louis several times and back. That car was well loved and cared for under my tutelage. I had an impressive stereo put in, and I loved, loved, loved driving around, with the windows down, zipping in and out of traffic, music blaring, Aislinn laughing, and me just grinning. Grinning away at life and how great it was.
Eventually we moved here, and it became obvious that Aislinn AND Jonny was too much for the car to handle. It just wasn't big enough. We sold Tony's rattle trap truck and bought an old van from my uncle. I got that vehicle, and Tony took over the Kia. He, over time had to come to love the car as much as I did, loving when I was off with no plans, so he too could zip aroudn town in the car. Even now I'll say "And you were mad that I got this car" and he'll say "I know, I was stupid, and you are so superior, I bow down to your greatness, and kiss your Goddess feet and sing the praises of your glory" Or um.. something like that. It was a great blessing when the gas prices sky rocketed.
Today, I drove my car again, and it was nice. I grinned, and I laughed, and I tickled Jonny while driving. Bringing back all those lovely memories that I had from the past. When Aislinn got in the car, I grinned, and tickled and held her knee. Windows down, music blaring, and everything was right with the world.