Friday, June 22, 2007

Ugh.

I am man. I have penis. BIIIIG penis. No, can't look, cuz I also liar.

I do many things, I work in BIIIG air condition office, for many many hours. I complain about work in office with cold wind. Very hard job. Lots of talking, and sitting, and talking while sitting in cool wind.

I come home, I eat food the thing with the fun hole makes. I like to stick my penis in the thing with the fun hole. The fun hole fun. I ignore the thing with fun hole. Fun hole thing is always crabby, must be time for crimson time for fun hole. No fun for me! It busy anyway, doing fun hole things like cleaning, and yelling at little things running around. They call me Daddy. I think that means "super cool guy with big penis" Not sure. I ignore them too.

I so tired from working in big office with nice cool wind. I must rest after eating the food the fun hole thing made. Yum, food good. I do not thank fun hole thing for making this food, it don't like it when I do that. Thats what me think anyway.

Gah! Little things bother me. Go way little things running around that call me Daddy! ROAR! YELL! INCOHERENT GRUNTING! Why they here? Why can't fun hole thing make them be quiet!! I had hard day with all the sitting and cool air absorbing. I go and lay down in my resting spot. So tired.

Uh oh the fun hole thing is talk to me. Won't stop talking about van, and how hot it is in there, and that can I please fix car!! I think in my head "SHUT THE FUCK UP FUN HOLE THING! I TIRED FROM ALL THE SITTING!!" I do not say this out loud... sssshhh I want to play with the fun hole tonight.

So tired, need more resting.

Little things need to rest too. I put them in rest spot for them. I expect big big praise from funhole thing for this. Oh and a blow job.

So tired from that.

More rest.

I better bathe, so I can play with the fun hole. I anounce "Man take shower now!" but fun hole ignore me. That ok, I know that fun hole thing is getting all excited at the thought of me bathing, even if it don't say so, or look at me, or anything like that. I shower, that good enough for me, so must be good enough for fun hole thing.

So tired from shower, must rest some more. GAH! Dishes from good food that fun hole thing made. Oh well. Fun hole thing can do them. All fun hole thing did today was sit out in the heat while the littlest little thing played, and sat out in the heat while the biggest little thing swam, and went to food place, and got magic go juice for van, while little things bleated their noisy noises about being so hot in van. Van has cool wind I don't get why so hot? Fun hole thing say it because all the going in van are short distances, not letting the cool wind to reach little thing in back. I just tell dumb fun hole thing to start the van before leaving house. Fun hole thing just stare at me. I know fun hole thing is thinking how man is so smart. Man getting fun hole fun tonight for sure! Poor dumb fun hole. To stupid to figure it out on it's own.

So sleepy. Must now close eyes and sleep. Fun hole not here. But, I bathe, so I know that it will be here soon to let me play with the fun hole. After it do those dishes that is.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Clearly your best post ever.
-T.C.

kspt1999 said...

I concur! You absolutely crack me up. I'm so glad you started this new block b/c this is who you are! (or at least who you were two years ago, I realize that people change)

kspt1999 said...

Shoot, I meant to say blog. Good grief, if I could only spell.

Anonymous said...

I laughed. I cried. Two thumbs up!

-SallyShell

ChristieNY said...

Best. Post. Ever!!!

Jennifer said...

Absolutely your best post. I cried with laughter!