Monday, April 21, 2008

I don't know what I expect Tony to do you know? I mean, what else is there to do other than come home and play video games pretty much all freaking night? Yet, I am still very frustrated. Partially PMS I'm sure, but it's other things too.

The car has been acting up for WEEKS now. He even went so far as to purchase a few things to replace last week. Has he gone out there to check it out? He STILL hasn't gotten his liscense and taken his class for motorcycle training, so the motorcycle is just fucking SITTING there, dead and unused. Wanna guess how many times he used that $500 bow since he's gotten it? How about zero? He's "gotten into" three different games since we've been here. His new one is a monthly one that will cost us $15 a month. He comes home, takes a dump and immediately sits down and plays his games. If he ISN'T on the desktop he's playing online poker on his laptop. He is literally attatched to a keyboard all the time. He's been home since three, a total of eight hours, at least 6 of it has been playing a video game of sort.

What really pisses me off is that fucking motorcycle. I can't even think about it without getting infuriated. Of course when I BRING IT UP he get's all "man-fensive" and pissy.

Liek I said though, what do I expect him to do? I have NO FUCKING CLUE. Yet, I get mad anyway. Maybe it's just me? Maybe I just expect to much. Whatever. I've been good about it, just letting it happen, but you know I do find myself throwing out little passive agressive comments, which is just stupid.

I think it's just hard. You know I don't have any friends here and blah blah blah. No time to myself blah blah blah. The kids have just stoppped asking him for stuff like drinks and stuff because he's so into his games, he gets pissy and snaps "Get it yourself" or tells them to wait. So, they ask me, which gets tiring, and makes me unable to do anything like watch a movie, or whatever.

Today he had to run back to work becuase he forgot his belt. Don't even fucking get me started. He wanted to take Aislinn but didn't want to take Jonny, which pissed me off. You can't give me a fucking HOUR? After I had to give up my girls weekend this past weekend? The one I was looking forward to for weeks becuase of your work, and then when you got home, you immediately went to sleep, and then today you are up there playing shoot em up games?

I really want to scream at him and rant at him, but it won'tmatter and it doesn't help. I am literally choking it down, and trying not to cry. When I brought up him taking Jonny he kinda yelled at me.

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