Friday, July 6, 2007

I have heard the gamut of advice on how to raise my daughter. I really have. People don't get that she is who she is, and no matter what I do, short of beating her, is NOT going to change that.

It really bothers me that people could potentially see my daughter as a spoiled brat, but it's not my daughter and the way she acts that bothers me, it's the people who see her that way. The people who can't see that she is a PERSON, and because she doesn't act how people think she SHOULD, then they just write her off as just another bratty kid.

This really burns my ass. It really, really does. It just shows me who is closed minded and who is not. I have one really "difficult" kid, and one really mellow one. Both raised the same, both two completely different children. Aislinn was born dramatic. I don't know if was the dramatic birth, or maybe the loud heavy metal music I listened to when she was in my tummy, but she came out angry at the world. At this point I wouldn't have her any other way.

Sure, she was/is difficult. Right now, she is crying because her hands are hot. Yes, her hands, they are hot. They make her Ninendo hot, and she hasn't gotten that HOLDING AN ELECTRONIC DEVICE is what is making her hands hot. I just sympathize the best I can, and she is trying really hard not to get me involved, because she knows this is HER issue. But, try to imagine telling a 3, 4, 0r 5 year old that her hands are hot for whatever reason, and she WONT CARE! MOMMY, JUST MAKE MY HANDS NOT HOT!! At seven she knows, but that wasn't always the case.

Aislinn has always had many ticks and weirdies. She doesn't like tight clothing, or socks, or tennis shoes. She can't stand to be sticky, to the point where she refuses to dry her hands when she washes them, because drying them makes the oil come off her hands, and makes them stick. If she is wearing a swimming suit, no one is allowed to touch her anywhere that her swimsuit covers. YOU CAN NOT TOUCH HER..... EVER! People see this as me "giving in" I see this as respecting my daughters wishes about HER ticks and weirdies. If you had an adult that didn't like to shake hands becuase of germs, would you MAKE them do it becuase you felt exposing that person to your germs would help them "get over it?" No, you wouldn't.

She questions EVERYTHING. Even when you're red in the face, so pissed you could just tear your hair out, she'll still want to know why she can't do something. If you tell her "Becuase I said so" she'll even offer you REASONS why she shouldn't touch something. Because I said so just doesn't make sense to her. Annoying as a child? Fuck yeah, but as an adult don't we always think and rethink and want to know why something is, before trusting a person blindly?

Yes, should she listen? Sure, and she gets in trouble when she doesn't, because I also want to teach her that her actions have consequences. Don't listen to mom? Trouble for you missy! But, deep down I know that this girl is going to BE something becuase of that wonderful, questioning brain.

I'm ok with that. She's a stubborn, bull headed control freak. Just like me, but I don't want her to have to find that out later in life, when it's too late.


Anonymous said...

I really like this post, Sandi.
A is her own person and you respect that. :)

DisneyDina said...

From the mother of another child, who I still say could be her twin in boy form, I have to say I agree totally!

Jeney said...

I could not have said it better! My MIL has declared my son a "spoiled brat" because I won't force him to obey in the exact why she thinks is best. I politely informed her that if she did not like being around him, he could handle being without her. Give them hell Sandi!

Anonymous said...

I still don't get why anyone would think she's a spoiled brat for having hot hands or asking questions. You don't spoil her, Sandi. My nephew, when told not to do something, will give you 5 solidly compelling reasons why he should be able to do it, and nobody says he's spoiled - they just think he's going to make a great lawyer someday. I think it has more to do with the way some adults are reduced to their own childish behavior around difficult kids, which teaches the kid to behave that way anytime, which creates a monster. KWIM??

PS I hope this doesn't show up 5 times - I had trouble publishing it...