Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Be careful for what you wish for.

So, we found out today, that Tony will be going out to sea for six months within the next few weeks. This has been a complete surprise. We haven't been here for even a full month, and we've already been thrown this curve ball. It's sad, but I am resigned already to deal with it the best I can. Really, what other option do I have you know?

The thing is, for awhile, I've been worried about our finances. For the first time in our ten year marriage we have credit card debt. Debt that we can't seem to pay off. We can always pay over each month, but not a lot. We're not behind, and we're not under the crushing weight of debt, but we do have more than I would like to have. This going out to sea will more than likely take care of all of that, but it just sucks that it has to be THIS way. Why couldn't it be with a bonus or something. Tony was actually due a bonus but got screwed out of it, becuase his old recruiting command needed him to re-enlist early, and becuase he did, he didn't get his bonus. He missed it by less than 30 days. Luckily we didnt know this until WAY after he re-enlisted so we were never expecting the money, but knowing he would have gotten a few thousand dollars and he didn't, for essentially being accomodating, is really irksome.

For some reason, Tony gets the WORST luck with the Navy. I haven't met anyone else that has had as money pay issues as we've had. I haven't met anyone that has had their orders changed... TWICE in less than a month, each time getting worse with each change. Even his friend today mentioned that he just has the WORST luck. He really does. I am not saying this in a woe is me kind of way, it's just the truth.

I know that we will be fine. I am really ok with all of this. I am thankfully to be on my Cymbalta because if I wasn't, I know I would be freaked out. If I think about it too hard, I feel sick and I want to cry, but I try really hard not to.

Yet, I can't help but be a bit bitter with Tony. All this turmoil, stress, etc all so he can continue doing what he loves to do. I was going to start my transcriptioning classes at the beginning of the year, and those will have to wait. I just hate having to always put my life on hold. I can't help when is it going to be MY turn?

It may sound selfish, but this has been ten years dealing with this, with another ten more to come.


The Six of Us said...

Why will your classes be put on hold? You can work at your own pace and it'll give you something to do at night after the kids go to bed. :)

Anonymous said...

I was thinking the same thing, Sandi. Is there any way you can still do your classes, even with him gone? It just never can be easy with the Navy, can it? Hug to you!!