Thursday, June 5, 2008

Summer is here

Summer is here, and you know what? I haven't been feeling THAT down on an everyday basis. I have noticed that I moodier and I get the boohoo poor mes more often, and I am snapping at the kids more. It's almost like I have pms... just all the time. Which is better than murderous rage. I'm sure Tony will agree.

The true test on whether or not my depression will get worse is now. We've been lucky only having the AC on a few days here and there. But, the nineties are here to stay. I've been a little obsessive over the AC, which is another sign of my condition. Where I lay awake at night worrying about whether we're big ole pussies for keeping the AC at 77 during the day and 75 at night, and really should we keep it at 80, even though the thought makes me want to vomit. Our upstairs can get five degrees higher than downstairs, so the thought of sleeping in 85 degree heat. Barf. If I'm not worried about that, I'm concerned about keeping the upstairs cool at night, and if by closing those two vents downstairs, will that keep the AC running all night and will I wake up to a pool of water and a frozen AC? I literally could NOT go to sleep last night until after 1 am, laying there wondering and worrying about the damn AC.

My low carbing is going good. I have found some great sites, and it's SO refreshing to see some SKINNY ASS people who are LCing. Marathon runners, and body builders. Especially when they started out fat. I am really enjoying it. Right now I'm eating my one minute muffin. Wait? Did I just say muffin? That can't be low carb. Well it is, and because I'm low carbing I get to eat it with an ass ton of butter. Lucky me. I love it. It's so easy to make! I make it from flax meal. I mix all the ingredients in a cup, stir it, and microwave it for one minute. Out pops a delicious and hot muffin. It's hard not to just eat them all day long. I have one.

My blood sugar has been MUCH better. It was high this morning. My fasting was 184! But, I didn't eat a snack before bed last night. I usually ALWAYS eat a snack right before bed. Something high in fat. But, last night I just didn't feel like eating, and low and behold high blood sugar. So I need to eat more! FAT! Yes! Life is good. I have lost about seven lbs and I've been doing this for about 3 weeks. Not that great, because on 1 day I cheated, and two because a few days ago, I wasn't interested in food, and didn't eat enough so I think my body held onto everything. But, I can't deny the fact that I am now feeling skinnier, I have WAY more energy, and the cravings are gone. Even though I have a lot of fast food options at my disposal, I'd rather eat at home. Also, added bonus... I am now regular again. Woohoo!

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